There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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