Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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