He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
