It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize