Well douche your snatch and let's go!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize