Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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