Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize