it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Panties = found
Randomize
