I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize