Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
