god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
