I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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