Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
