He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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