i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We talked him into tasing himself.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
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Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
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Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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