You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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