We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
