He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
