I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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