I'm so fucking centered right now
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
