So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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