screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
