Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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