I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
