They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
