Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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