Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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