i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
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shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
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My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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