if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We need to rekindle our bromance
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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