i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
