i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize