at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
