he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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