No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
