I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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