life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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