Don't you send me to vm
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
