went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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