I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize