Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
