hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
