I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
