glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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