He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
