You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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