i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
