remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
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