return my video game
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
