My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
