jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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