i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
