He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
