woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize