Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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