your thong is hanging out like whoa
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
