I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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