Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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