the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
