so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
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Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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