Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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